Guard Mister Meaner, DM

Guard Mister Meaner, DM

Mr. MeanerBorn the bastard son of a bastard in Lower Alabama, the child who would become Mister Meaner was indoctrinated early on by conservative Christian “values”. An idealist at heart at that early age, he was a devout follower of Christ as well as a strong fixture in the Youth Ministry Team at his local church. As he grew older, he began to grapple with his nascent homosexuality. Ashamed and filled with guilt and self loathing for the feelings which permeated his every thought Meaner fought long and hard to keep what he was taught was a demonic possession in check.

After being dragged kicking and screaming from the closet by some of his closest “friends” with whom he had foolishly confided, he found himself unceremoniously ejected from the Youth Ministry program and “secretly” enrolled in one of the early ex-gay programs Exodus International. After several months of trying to pray away the gay and deepening the abysmal feelings of guilt and shame he finally reached the breaking point when he found out that the very same Youth Pastor had been letting slip to other members of the congregation about his “condition”. Filled with shame, rage and anger at this betrayal unlike any he had known before, the young man decided not only to walk away from the church but to also embrace who he knew he was inside entirely. The church had already taken the closet door off the hinges for him. All he needed to do now was simply step out into the light and stop hiding in the dark corners of his life.

Being diagnosed with HIV many years later would cause a resurgence of those feelings of shame and anger – feelings with which he would grapple for the rest of his life. Like many who have traveled a similar path through the minefields of personal trauma over their sexuality, their sero-status and countless other perceived detrements, Mister Meaner had allowed his rage to go unchecked for many years all the while growing more and more loathing and self-stigmatizing.

In 2009, upon joining the Sisterhood as a founding member of the Music City Sisters, he took the name Mister Meaner which was to serve at once as an exercise in self-awareness and a reminder of the (often self) destructive abilities of those feelings when internalized and allowed to grow and fester within oneself. By no longer denying these feelings and owning them for what they were worth, he now strives to channel that very powerful energy into a strong drive to assist the Sisterhood in their vows to expiate stigmatic guilt and to promulgate universal joy wherever they may go.

A seasoned photographer with over 25 years of experience, Mister Meaner took to photographing MCS events as the House’s first official Photographer, a role that has since – to his great joy – been taken up by other members of the House as well. To Mister Meaner, seriously documenting the House he helped found is a Sacred Path which serves not only to publicize activities and thus spread the word; it is also a sort of communication – a projector through time, if you will – to those who will follow; an inspiration to those who take up the torch for the coming generations of Sisters, Queers and Activists to get out there and live Joyously Guilt and Stigma Free. He feels this Calling is essential historical documentation of the Work that will be the legacy left behind once we have all moved on past the Veil of Life.

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